I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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