wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize