I think I died a long time ago.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
