FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize