Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
They took my balls.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
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