I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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