butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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