so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
