Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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