P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize