i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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