he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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