I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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