Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Randomize
