good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Remind me to tell you the story of the fuzzy condom
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
