I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
smell my finger.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
