Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
