You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
