her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
my shit smells like andre
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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