She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
