Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize