they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Operation Purity has been aborted
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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