so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
