And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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