Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
