That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize