I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
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