Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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