i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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