Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Randomize
