Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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