I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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