Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
