yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
