I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
