Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Randomize
