Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i believe in u and ur pee
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Randomize
