It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize