I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I just blew my weed a kiss
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
