Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
