Where are you?
In a non slutty way
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
