Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
