Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
