I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Is it penis luge time yet?
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
