I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
