We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize