can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Randomize
