I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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