just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Randomize
