Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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