I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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