I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
