you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
