i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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