i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Randomize
