Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
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