so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Randomize
