Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
At least life still wants to fuck me.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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