So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
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