i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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