I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
