Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
