I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
