he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
