I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize