We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Naked Twister starts at high noon
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Randomize
