Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
