At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
