I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
