Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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