i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
