those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
